an aside: me vs the creatures.. .. so, today i had an exterminator come out and spray my house to get rid of the filthy horrific insects that have been plaguing us since we moved here.. .. when the guy got here, he asked for specifics and i told him what the deal was.. he first attempted to blow the creatures off as centi/millipedes.. which.. uh.. they totally fucking aren't.. so i explained and described them in detail and he nodded and said he would spray the 'problem area' outside before doing the basement.. .. according to the inspector, mike, there is a gap between our siding and foundation that wasn't sealed and that's how the bugs are getting in, and once they get inside they can exit anywhere.. .. so this guy 'supposedly' goes and sprays outside.. .. then he comes in and sprays the living room and kitchen, then he goes and does the basement (which freaked me out cause he did it while my precious kitties were there and didn't seem to think it was a big deal, even though i asked if i should move them elsewhere).. so he does all this.. and then he comes up and sprays a few more places and then is like 'okay, you're all set! just let me know if you have any more problems!' .. and i gotta say, aside from worrying about my cats accidentally licking the stuff when they shouldn't, a HUGE weight just kinda evaporated off my shoulders.. .. i was so happy to finally be rid of this problem.. i mean, having a phobia about insects and living with these creatures on a daily basis was seriously starting to eat away at me; constantly being afraid, wondering what every tiny little fucking shadow is, being paranoid of having my feet on the floor because something might crawl over them? ... .. yeah.. pretty nightmarish.. .. so after i sat with my cats and talked to my sister for a while, i was feeling pretty damn awesome.. .. and i didn't see any bugs all evening, which lead me to feel more relaxed than i've felt in over a year.. .. no fucking lie.. .. so after logging off my game tonight, i come upstairs and settle in for some late-night web surfing and manga reading.. .. .. i'm happily reading my manga, when ... what do i fucking see???? .. .. oh, you guessed it.. .. a creature.. scampering across my living room floor.. a big one.. so naturally i freak out, but this time i wasn't so much afraid as really seriously majorly fucking pissed off.. so as soon as i make the squealing noise of terror, the creature pauses.. cause.. you know.. if they stop and hold REALLY still, i won't see them.. uh huh.. .. and i'm staring at this creature, and wondering if maybe it has been forced into the open because of all the spraying the guy did.. but.. well, honestly, the fucking aberration looked pretty fucking healthy to me.. could be the bitterness talking, i won't lie.. .. so i sit and watch it for about 10 minutes.. .. and then it starts running again.. .. okay, so i've mentioned that they move at superinsect speed, right? .. right.. so it runs behind my living room curtains, and i go and get the bug spray and turn on all the lights and get my flashlight to look into the dark places where they like to go to stage their assaults.. and just wait.. .. and sure enough, after a few minutes it starts hauling ass towards my bookcases, where i trapped it and soaked it with bug spray..

.. so now i'm sitting at my dining room table, with my feet curled up because i'm terrified to put them down again.. .. and i had to break open another bottle of southern comfort.. .. and i'm really trying to be reasonable about what has occurred.. .. on the one hand, i realize that it might be unrealistic to expect that the spraying killed them all at the same time.. .. that said, you cannot blame me for savoring the mental imagery of the lethal spray coursing through the house to eradicate them, like some divine flood or purging inferno.. .. i do understand that its possible they will make a break for it........................and then die.. .. that last part is crucial here.. 'and then die'.. .. this fucking insect in NO WAY looked like it was suffering the effects of insecticide.. .. i would go so far as to say it looked extremely spry.. .. vigorous, even.. like it had just come from fucking creature tai chi or some shit.. .. so now i'm really wondering exactly what my expectations should be after paying for this guy to come out here and 'treat' my house for these insects.. ..... am i supposed to placidly accept that some of these fuckers are going to appear in random locations as they exit the 'supposedly' treated walls and baseboards?? .. i say 'supposedly' cause, seriously, at this point i'm questioning everything.. fuck, for all i know, the little bastards bribed the exterminator to work for them.. .. and if i'm to blindly follow the comforting words of my inspector and exterminator, might the notion of 'once they get into the walls, they can go anywhere' imply that if they don't like the smell of the first and second floors, they'll move on to the third??? .. how the hell am i supposed to sleep wondering if there is a creature caravan making its way to my bedroom to fulfill its own version of manifest destiny?? .. i'll tell you how i'm going to sleep tonight.. .. very badly or not at all.. which is truly tragic, given that i got about 4 hours of sleep last night because i kept waking up worrying i was going to oversleep and miss the appointment for the exterminator!

.. to top it all off, i feel kinda betrayed.. after going through all of this, and feeling so relieved to see the end, and looking forward to not being afraid of being in my own house.. .. and then to see one of the insects i paid to get rid of? running blithely around my living room?? .. i am not happy.. .. at all.. i will be giving the exterminator a few days to see consistent results.. .. if i see more of the creatures, i will be asking for my money back... .. seriously, i know its the south and i should expect to live with insects, especially in the summer.. .. but for the love of all that is holy, the insects should fucking die when you pay an exterminator to treat your house for them..


i shall now go and attempt to sleep..

.. all for now..